Hi, my name is Christy, and I'm a foodaholic.
Over the course of my adult life, the "skinny jeans" have been stuck in an endless rotation from front to back of the closet. During one of my skinny years I even went so far as to carry a "fat picture" around in my purse as a reminder. Ah, the oh-so-popular "Before and After" shot. I wasn't one of those annoying people that bounces around, shouting "LOOK AT ME!" and flashing it in everyone's face. It was there as a personal reminder during tempting emergencies, such as any driving routes that took me past fast food restaurants and buffets.
This strategy worked great...for a while. But as my journey through life became more challenging as I ascended into adulthood, as many people do, I started getting back into my old habits. I can not tell you how many fitness gyms near Raleigh, NC LOVE me for the amount of money I donated to memberships without ever using them. Upon leaving work each day, my thought process would go into a frenzy of ridiculous excuses for not working out that particular day. Most of the time is was some off-the-wall reason, comparable to skipping school because I was having a bad hair day. I would even drive into the gym parking lot, turn around and leave, just to be able to say I went "TO" the gym.
After a few weeks of this, ALL of my clothes would somehow start shrinking. Blame it on the dryer, I guess. This would be the first migration of skinny jeans to the back of the closet as the "more comfortable" clothes emerged. Note to self: They are more comfortable because they are the next size UP. It couldn't possibly be due to laziness and poor eating habits. Maybe it's just because I reached the age of 30 and my metabolism slowed. Yeah, we'll stick with that one for a while. After a few more months, there weren't even any "fat clothes" that fit anymore. I hated these times because, in my mind, going shopping for larger clothes was admitting that I had failed once again. Through the years, my eclectic closet has been stocked with everything from Size 6 to Size 16, and everywhere in between.
During the fat years, it seems like every diet starts tomorrow...and it never comes. I remember justifying a cupcake or bag of chips by thinking, "I'm already fat, what difference does it make?" After throwing clothes around in yet another fit of self-loathing rage, I would start a crash diet. Two weeks later I'm down 10 pounds and what do I do? I tell myself, "I've lost 10 pounds, I can afford ONE trip to (insert favorite fast food chain)." Then one turned into two, two turned into three and three turned into 10 pounds back on, just like that.
We all know that eating a super-sized, greasy quarter pounder, fries and a large shake on the side is wrong...but we spend a few savory moments indulging in edible sin, then stand in front of the mirror wondering what happened. Just remember, even if nobody sees you eat it, the calories still count. What you eat in private SHOWS in public.
Do you remember that childhood song about "Little Bunny Foo Foo?" Putting that fattening food in our mouths is like taking a hammer and bopping ourselves in the head, then complaining about the effects. We know it's bad...it's going to hurt...but we do it anyway. Well I'm going to picture that little bunny trying to scoop me up and BOP me on the head with a devilishly tempting snack...and I'm going to grab an apple and bop HIM on the head!
It's time for a serious life change, but the difference this time is that I, along with the support of Phitter.com, will be making myself accountable for every single thing I do. My camera is going everywhere with me, and I will be posting weekly pictures of the scale as well as trips to the gym and even meals. Forget pride. It's not like my weight-gain is a secret.
2010 is the year to put the hammer down, stop beating ourselves up, and make the necessary changes to put a stop to the revolving closet cyle for good.
Agreed. I am throwing out my 'fat clothes' as I lose. NO more holding onto them. We hold onto them just in case, but it's like planning to fail.
ReplyDeleteI look forward to reading your posts.
Ok, I'm sold. I'm not persistent with anything but work and trying to make money. My thing is that I don't eat a lot of food, it's when I eat, what I eat and my lack of activity...oh and drinking. I drink a lot - which is mostly subsidized with coke or sprite, when I'm drinking vodka it's cranberry juice so I try to drink vodka mostly.
ReplyDeleteI just turned 30 this year. I've struggled with weight since I was 16 and only once have I ever joined a gym, it was a women's only gym and I quickly became a "gym rat".
My problem now is time and money to devote to the cause that is my health. I want to do it, I have a huge phobia about working out around men and am ridiculously modest and self conscious about it - there's a women's only gym closeby but it's 3 times as much as the one around the corner that's coed, the one I can afford.
My biggest battle right now is getting over that man phobia (I'm married, not some wierd shut in that has nobody, lol) If I could get over my stupid hang up and I really do know it's stupid, I have an hour or two in the morning because I don't have to be in until 9am and I know I'd quickly get attached and addicted to the punishment I can do to myself at the gym.