Belief vs. Undeniable Proof

There are many things in life that we are given the option to believe in. The most obvious being God, Santa, The Easter Bunny...

Our beliefs are most often based on what we are taught during our childhood, what we choose to pursue knowledge about and/or our own personal experiences. Regarding God, there is a lot of information out there, and people choose to believe what they want to based on the information given. I'm obviously not trying to compare God with St. Nicholas and Peter Cottontail. The point here is that most people rely on blind faith, therefore belief is a choice.

There are other things that most people have a choice to accept or not to accept, again, based on their own life experiences. One of these would be whether or not we choose to believe in ghosts. Stories have been told in the glowing light of campfires, mostly with the intention of providing us with a good scare among friends. Hollywood has provided us with their interpretation of poltergeists and hauntings, not only to entertain but to earn a profit from everyday thrill-seekers. Documentaries have been made in attempt to give merit to these ghost stories that so many people love to share, but many people question their validity.

Based on my own personal experiences, I have found that it is quite difficult to make someone believe something that they have not seen for themselves. Some people are arrogant enough to think that if they haven't actually seen a ghost with their own eyes, that in itself is proof that they don't exist. Which leads me to the point I would like to make today.

I, like everyone else, have made my own choices about God and St. Nick... but as a child, I was not given a choice as to whether or not I wanted to believe in ghosts. It was right in front of me. Undeniable. We lived it.

There was no way that I could look at this apparition before us or ignore the unexplained events that occurred all around us every day and actually say, "I don't believe in this." I could not deny what was happening right before us.

Because of the reaction I have gotten from those who were fortunate enough NOT to go through something like this, I have kept the story to myself for the most part. I always found it quite frustrating to be ridiculed for something that wasn't even a question in my mind. There was no reason for me to make it up, or for my mom, grandmother, cousins, uncle and aunt to lie about it. WE all experienced the same thing. And although I can't clearly remember everything that happened, I clearly remember the deep, intense fear that it instilled in me because I still live that to this day. We were finally able to make it stop after literally having our house "blessed," so it has been years since this apparition that we named "Betty Smith" has made another unwelcomed appearance. As for the scars that "she" left in me, I am 31 yrs old now and I physically can not walk through my house without having lights on. I can not open my eyes after the lights are turned off at night. I can not leave a closet door slightly ajar for fear that "she" will once again emerge. I still can not look out any window of the house at night time, for fear that I will again see "her" standing there.

I just thank God that it happened at a young enough age to where I didn't really understand that this actually was something to be afraid of. I didn't really "get it" because I was an innocent child that had not yet been exposed to the campfire stories and horror movies. At the time, it was just weird, but in a strange way it was normal for us. Only later did I find out that this wasn't something that everyone experienced, and I learned that when I faced a classroom of non-haunted peers who were laughing at the story I wrote about it. They weren't laughing because it was funny. They were laughing because they didn't experience it, so they didn't understand. Hence my reluctance to talk about it to anyone else in the future.

Just remember that some people aren't given a choice to believe in something or not. And if you are one of the lucky ones that did not experience an old woman standing in your window every night or moving items around in your house, please accept the fact that it IS possible regardless of the fact that she didn't come to your house. If nothing else, believe ME, and just be thankful that you aren't haunted by a past that leaves a paralyzing fear of the unknown and the uncertainty of what lies just beyond the light.

This Is Going To Hurt

It is probably safe to say that no-one in the world really enjoys having to get a shot for any reason. It's just one of the necessary evils that we, as human beings, must endure in our quest for a healthy life.

When I was younger, the most popular phrase used by any syringe-wielding health care professional was, "This won't hurt a bit." That statement, in itself, probably led to many children and adults alike learning to distrust these doctors and nurses and instead viewing them as needle-poking enemies. When you are in the business of helping and providing care for patients, it seems to me that one of the first items on your agenda should include "build trust with patient." If you precede a skin-piercing jab to a patient with "This won't hurt a bit," chances are that the goal of building trust will not be met on that day.

So as time progressed and people caught on with the realization that "This won't hurt a bit" is roughly translated into "I am insensitive and I think you are stupid, plus I'm not the one getting poked so I don't care," they came up with a new term. Now we are told that we are going to "feel a slight pinch." According to our friends at Mirriam-Webster, the word "pinch" can be defined as "to squeeze or compress painfully." Although I still don't agree that a sharp, stinging stab into my arm really resembles "squeezing OR compressing," at least we're getting a little closer to admitting that a little pain may be involved.

Rarely have I ever had any infliction of personal injury, whether on purpose or accidental, prefaced by either of these statements. As we make progress though our journey of life, we are going to feel the need to scream "OUCH!" at some point. I, as most people do, can use my own personal scale of pain to be the judge of that.

I just prefer that, if I am going to willingly allow someone to impose this unpleasant sensation on my delicate skin, I would rather they just be honest and give me fair warning. "This is going to hurt."

It is impossible for me to see the similarity of a "pinch" verses a "sting," or even a "jab." But don't bring your syringe full of healing medicine and poke it into any skin on my body and say that I am going to feel a "pinch." If you do, I will invite you to allow me to inflict MY interpretation of a "pinch" in the form of a "jab," directly to the area from where that misguided statement emerged...and hope that my liability insurance will cover the dental visits that will ensue.

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Above All the Bustle...

When you think of the holiday season, what is the first thing that comes to mind?

Take a minute and really think about this, because if the first thought that you have is anything other than what the season is actually supposed to be about I think we need to talk.

I have never been one to "preach" to anyone about religion, and I don't plan on starting now. If you have any level of education, you know what Christmas is actually about. There's no need to cover that. This is mostly about the events leading up to this most wonderful time of the year.

The point that I want to make today is that there are so many things to look forward to as we enter into the holiday season. There is something about the chilly air that brings thoughts of a warm, inviting fire below the stockings hung in a cozy living room. At any point in time you can hear carols and Christmas bells ringing, whether you are driving down the road or walking through the halls of a mall bustling with shoppers. When you walk into a store and see the Christmas decor throughout, and the creative energy that everyone seems to collectively put into filling their store with the most red and green...it should remind you that we are all in this season together, slowly migrating towards this huge event that for so many brings family, love and friendship together like no other holiday does.

So if you are one who chooses to participate in the preparation of this Christmas season that so many of us are blessed to share together, I would like to remind you of these things...

If you are driving down the road, on your annual journey to find a Christmas tree and you find yourself getting frustrated...just think about those that don't even have a home in which to put a Christmas tree.
When you are wrestling with the lights as you fumble around to get them perfectly aligned throughout the branches or even down the banister of your home...just think about those that can't even afford electricity to turn them on.
If you are one of the brave souls that chooses to venture out into the vast ocean of shoppers and traffic...consider it a blessing that you are able to enjoy the freedom of going anywhere you want to go, at any time...or that you are fortunate enough to have a little extra money to spend on your loved ones, or even yourself when so many others have to pinch pennies just to buy their next meal.

At some point during this holiday season, take a minute to look around, wherever you are. Breathe in the aromas of the delicious Christmas candies and baked goods that are just waiting to be savored by a giddy child whose heart is still filled with excitement from a recent visit to Santa. Listen to the hustle and bustle of everyone that is moving around, feverishly working to make this the best holiday season for the ones that they love. Look around at all that we have to be thankful for, from the togetherness that this season brings to the incredible beauty of everything involved in the journey towards this Christmas day.

Be thankful for the ones whose Christmas lists you hold. Be thankful that you are able to carry out some or all of the wishes on those lists. Be thankful for your family and every precious moment that you get to spend with each and every one of them.

Try to remember all of the reasons that made us care so much about the holidays to begin with..put that partridge back in your pear tree and just smile. It's Christmas time!

Who Am I To Say...

From my tiny little corner in the south, I'm here to bring what I hope to be thought-provoking stories & opinions that will in some way provide entertainment for all who partake.

To the trained professional, I'm sure that future postings won't fit certain guidelines preferred by college professors and newspaper editors. But to the untrained eye, you may just get out of this what I put into it...which is enjoyment, not just from the topic at hand, but from the creatively amusing and sometimes politically incorrect way that the stories are told.

Most importantly, it is not always the topic that is the most intriguing, but the way that it is explained. I can guarantee a few laughs, if you have even the slightest sense of humor. I can guarantee a candid point of view with nothing held back, including some choice words, depending on the topic at hand. If you, the reader, is the type that gets offended by certain issues, I would like to remind you that everyone is entitled to my opinion...and if you don't like it, please feel free to guide your little mouse cursor to the northeastern section of your screen and click the little "X." I take that very seriously and I will promptly exit stage left. For those who choose to stay and partake, I certainly hope you enjoy...and please let me know what you think, even if you disagree!

Left-Handed Sasquatch

Life for me has always been enjoyable, and I have always tried to seek out positive ways to look at everything. Granted, there are some situations that firmly plant themselves in a seemingly endless black hole of negativity...even the best optimist in the world struggles to find even a pinpoint of light at times. By no means do I want to imply that my life is more difficult than others because I understand and respect that fact that everyone has trials and tribulations. That's what it's all about. But I would like to point a couple of things out that other folks may not realize, simply for the fact that it's never really mattered...to them.

I am incredibly thankful for the fact that I have two working hands and two working feet to help me through this journey of life. My dad always said, "I complained that I had no shoes until I met a man who had no feet."

That's a beautiful quote, but I'm not sure how many people realize the struggles that people like me go through to actually find shoes...that fit. And if that wasn't enough, my never-ending search for the perfect "left-handed" pen has ended all-to-often in a tragic, smeared-up mess.

My friends, just like anyone else, I have to work with what I was given...which is size 11 feet AND the fact that I'm left-handed.

SO many people do not realize how blessed they are to be able to walk into any store and find the perfect pair of shoes, grab their size and make a purchase. But my fellow Sasquatch girlfriends will agree that it's not always that easy for us. The perfect example came to me when I first visited the GIANT showroom of a popular outlet, bragging about their 10,000+ pair inventory. When I finally found my section in the murky waters beside the Bigfoot statue, I discovered that, out of the 10,000+ pairs of name brand shoes, I had 13 pairs to choose from. Through the years, it does appear that more shoe companies are finding creative ways to add just a couple of extra inches of rubber for the unfortunate flipper-footed women of the world, and I am thankful for that. But I just wanted to let you know how lucky you are if you can just waltz right into a department store, such as JC Penney or Sears and actually find your size. I'm not bitter, but there have been times I wanted to take my big foot and use it to kick Nike's ass.

Thank goodness for a dad with a sense of humor. I remember when I was just a fragile young lass and I first discovered that I was "special." It was at a small shoe store at a mall..."Roscoe Griffin," I think. I was being fitted for the first time and this obviously empathetic sweetheart of a salesperson yelled to the back of the store, "HEY, you got any size 11's?" If my adorable little face turning candy apple red wasn't enough to curb this embarrassing behavior, my dad made sure to top it off by bursting into fits of raging laughter, tears (of sympathy, I'm sure) pouring down his face. It was the first time I realized I was different...and the first time I cried because of shame. The next day, my dad just wanted to make sure I was ok so he brought me a copy of the Sunday paper, where he proudly announced a "Bigfoot Spotting at Crabtree Valley." His mother was the reason for my "good foundation," as he called it. I still love my dad, and yes, his knee still gets a slap each time that story is brought back to life.

The other fabulous gift that I received from my handsome father, other than his witty & often sarcastic sense of humor, was his left-handed/right-brained genes. This guy really did a number on me, but I firmly believe that it has made me a stronger person. It's just another one of those things that most people don't realize because it is truly a right-hander's world.

It started with the desks at school. We don't even have to get into that very much because it doesn't take much thought to realize that the desks were made for righties. I only wish that my kindergarten teacher had popped my left hand harder with the ruler and forced me to use the other. Then it was the spiral notebooks, which my fellow left-handed friends will tell you leaves really cool indentions on your forearm. When you go to the grocery store and swipe your credit card, the cashier so conveniently angles the slip for a righty as they sweetly say, "Sign this please..." And we must not only shift the paper to the opposite angle but also wrestle the pen that is so conveniently attached to the right side. I'm not sure if my brain started to pity itself through the years, but I ended up being able to do some things with my right hand. I write and use a fork with my left hand. But at one point in my life I averaged 170 on a winning bowling team with a right-armed throw. I shoot pool with my left. I hit a baseball with my left. And depending on the situation, especially if someone is begging for it, I can typically bitch-slap someone with whichever hand is closest.

So whether you have big feet or small feet, you're left-handed or right, or you have no limbs at all...just remember that everyone has their own struggles in life. Yet we still may not realize how incredibly fortunate we are, because what we have to work with is who we are.

Can I get a high-five? (No, the other side)

Originally posted on Facebook on November 14, 2009
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The Curse of Positive Thinking

From the time I was a small child, I have been blessed with the ability to find the positive side of almost everything. Now that I have grown up, it seems to have become a curse.

Certain people that I love with all my heart think that I'm too positive...meaning that I am seeing the world through rose-colored glasses, not realizing how vulnerable and naive I am. Ok, that makes sense. I have been blind-sided because of this, so I can understand. So I'll be cautiously optimistic. My problem is that he is cautiously pessimistic.

The problem with that certain person is that he refuses to accept that he is too negative. In his mind he is prepared for the worst in any situation. But I can't help but think that it has to be a pretty miserable way to live if you're always expecting something bad to happen. If you spend too much time preparing yourself for the worst you may just miss the good things in life because you were too busy hiding around the corner.

I have a way of creating analogies, so just go with me.
I walk down the street on a sunny day and he thinks I should carry an umbrella "just in case." It may be a good idea to carry one but I don't think it has to be open all the time like his. Yeah, I will be ready IF it does rain but when it's always open I'm missing the sunshine. On the other hand, if I never carry the umbrella I could very well end up getting burned by the sun...or soaked by the rain.

So there's got to be a happy medium somewhere.

After all I've been through, especially in the past year, if I can stay positive ANYBODY can. No matter what you experience in life, you are going to get hurt. Bad things happen and they often make you a better person even though you have to get through it and figure out how to prevent it next time.

That's life.

I want to think that good things are going to happen and I live each day looking forward to and trying to create those.

That's living.

Originally posted on Facebook on June 10, 2009
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The "Man"swer

Even after being with someone for years upon years, every person needs a little reassurance every now and then. Some people give little reassuring gestures and comments all the time without even knowing it. Others need a little reminder to give a little positive reinforcement, or to be kind when giving constructive advice.

My advice to Steve is sometimes in the form of an analogy. I tell him, "If you cook something new and I don't like it and I don't say something right away, you are going to keep on cooking it...and I'm going to have to keep on choking it down." The point being that honesty is the best policy.

Well, most of the time.

Sometimes it may not be bad to exaggerate just a bit, especially if someone seems to need a little pick-me-up. Case in point...the question/answer that led to this thought:

Out of the blue, Steve sometimes feels the need for a little reassurance even though I am constantly giving him positive feedback. His question last night, "What do you like about being married to me?"
Ahhh, the kind of question that a female like me craves!! A thought-provoking invitation for doting all over this man that I married...

"What should I tell him first?" The first thought that comes to my mind..."I love the fact that you are my best friend. That you are the first person I want to talk to after a good day, bad day, any kind of day. I love that I still look forward to seeing you and my heart flutters when I see your truck pull up." He appears to be listening and taking this in, so I take this as an invitation to continue...especially since this is not something that he asks very often. I even went so far as to go Dr. Phil on him, and repeated something I heard him say years ago..."You're my soft place to fall."

Ok, that may be cheesy to some, but if any of you had any inkling of an idea as to what I went through from the end of October, 2009 until after the beginning of this year, you would realize what a strong and supportive husband that he is. And after I had the hardest fall of my life he, in fact, was my soft place to fall. When NOTHING else was right, it wasn't so bad because he was around.

So anyway, I'm continuing with my "girly" answer and trying not to leave anything out. When I finished, I was then curious as to how he would answer the same question. But since he never talks like that I wasn't sure what he would say. So I stuck my neck out and repeated the question to him. And the answer that followed led to the birth of this note.

He said, "Stability in my life."

I almost felt my head nod as if to say, "Ok, that's good. Go on..." But he was done. I felt a smile creeping up to my waiting lips because I wanted to say, "That's all you got?!" But realized that this dude was dead serious. After I just spilled my heart out to him about my aching and undying love, I get a one-line answer in return. And as I thought about it more and more, I coudln't help but think, "Hell, keeping your body on a regular schedule provides stability." Then I'm fighting off the urge to think, "So I provide stability that's as important as regularity." I'm his Metamucil? Well, we'll just call me "Old Faithful."

But it's just a man's way of thinking. It was a typical "Man"swer to a complicated and loaded question.

Steve has been through a lot in his life. He's been through many changes, had some tough blows and he's always ended up back on top. He is a lot tougher than I am because of this...I'm still a softie that easily gets my feelings hurt because I take everything personally.
Regardless, if the first thing he thinks of is that I make life feel stable and "normal," then I'm ok with that. We have both gone a LONG way over the past decade to reach this point, and if that's what it takes to make him happy, then grab the Sunday crossword...

I'd rather be "Old Faithful" than an unpredictable Mt. Saint Helens any day.

Originally posted on Facebook on August 13, 2009
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My Life, Your Agenda

There is not one thing in this world that drives me crazier than someone saying to me, "Oh you'll change your mind one day."

Apparently, someone made a rule a long time ago that says everyone is supposed to adhere to a particular agenda. It varies from person to person but this is basically what you're supposed to do:

Graduate High School
Go To College
Get a Job
Get Married
Have Kids
Live Happily Ever After

After I completed number one, I decided that my list was going to be different. And you know what? I'm pretty damn happy about it. I have worked hard all of my life, I have taken on some pretty big challenges and I have become a much stronger person because of it. There are no regrets that I have because I have learned something from every mistake that I have made.

For over 11 yrs I worked at an upscale child care center with ages 12 weeks to 12mos, but I also have a LOT of experience with all ages. I got an up close and personal view of many families, many were genuinely happy, some were constantly stressed and a few seemed down-right miserable. I saw how having children changes relationships, not only with spouses but also with family and friends. People suddenly become experts and want to tell you the best way to do things. Spouses spend so much time focusing on the kids that they rarely have time for each other.

But my main point is this: Having children is not something that should be required to be on everyone's agenda. But I have heard SO many times, "Oh, you'll change your mind one day," with a little condescending pat on the shoulder. It always made me feel like someone was saying, "It's ok, little Christy, when you grow up and mature you will want them." I don't look at someone after hearing that they have kids and say, "Oh you'll regret THAT one day." You know what? I love kids with all of my heart but I love my freedom, my relationship with my husband and my kick-ass life. I firmly believe that there are many people who have kids just because they think that's what they are supposed to do...then there are others who have this dreamy vision of happy babies dancing about and they forget about the impending teenage years. I do know that there are many happy people with happy children and happy marriages that balance all of their time evenly among work, play and everything else so I am not talking about them. I don't need anyone preaching that having children is rewarding. Having a life full of time to spend on your relationship with your spouse is very rewarding too.

So if you happen to ask someone if they have kids and they say something like, "No, and I don't plan on having them," please have enough respect for them to not force YOUR agenda on THEIR life because you think that's what they're supposed to do. There aren't a lot of people that figure out they don't want kids before it's too late...

I am 31 years old, I have been married for over a year but with my husband for over 10 years...I love being able to take road trips all across the United States, learning about the fabulous country in which we live. I love tailgating at a Nascar race, drinking and having a good time with perfect strangers and screaming at the top of my lungs as the fighter jets fly by. I love coming home after work and sitting my butt on the couch and not having to move if I so choose...then again I can jump up and run to the store at a moment's notice without having to make arrangements...hell, we've been known to jump up and drive to the casino in Tunica, Ms on a whim. When we talk about our trips and good times, there are so many people that say they are jealous...that is one of the main reasons why I wrote this. I never ever want to be envious of anyone because I think they can do something that I can't.

I don't get jealous when people talk about their fabulous life with their kids!
I'm glad you're having a blast...so am I.

Originally posted on Facebook on April 28, 2009
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Suicide...Who Are You To Judge?

Some say they are cowards, others say that they are idiots...but who are you to judge those who have reached a point in their life to where they can't imagine another day of pain?

Does it ever occur to you that, maybe, just maybe, they were surrounded by people with that exact same mindset? How could they actually talk to someone about their troubles to someone with that kind of tunnel vision?

They are NOT cowards...they simply did not see a way out.
They are NOT idiots...they just lost their way and ran out of hope.

If anyone EVER wants to try to convince me that a person that commits suicide is going to hell, I am going to ask you who you think you are to put yourself on that throne and make that kind of determination?

I don't have any idea which religion is right or wrong...but I will say that I can not fathom the idea that any God or higher power would punish someone for giving up the fight that they couldn't see winning. Who would want to devote their life to supporting anyone or anything that had the capacity to punish someone after what was obviously the lowest, most vulnerable time in their life? Certainly not me.

So, please, if not for anyone else but ME...don't EVER say anything negative about someone that loses all hope and takes their own life. Just try to understand that nobody will EVER know what went through their head during those last few weeks...days...minutes...s

econds.

I don't condone suicide...I think it's awful that anyone ever experiences it, directly or indirectly. But I also don't condone the condescending and disrespectful passing of judgement from people that are unable to realize that there was more to it than what could be seen on the outside looking in.

Have enough respect to understand that they just lost their way...and when times get tough, keep in mind that there's always a glimmer of hope somewhere down the line.
It's going to get better.


"When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight."
— Khalil Gibran

(A little background: I grew up with my mom exposing me to every single church out there, trying to find the "right" one...and my dad was an atheist. My dad had two brothers that commited suicide at a young age. Maybe that will explain the strong feelings)

Originally posted on Facebook on June 4, 2009

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O Ye of Little Faith

When I woke up this morning, I wasn't sure whether I believed in God or not. It was that way yesterday, last month, last year and long before that. I've felt that way for most of my adult life. It's more of an Agnostic-type of attitude. It's not the DISbelief in God, it is just belief that there's no way it can be proven. Scientifically speaking, that's true. But I've been told ALL of my life that's where faith comes in. My standard argument has always been, "How can I base my entire belief system, thoughts and actions on something I can not see, touch or hear?" What little faith I did have was challenged to the breaking point a little over a year ago, so I decided to just live my life now and worry about that later.

As this day has progressed, it is quite possible that I will no longer refer to the word "Faith" as "the other 'F' word."

I have been humbled and my faith in people has been partially restored...there are good people in this world and they aren't always difficult to find if you're headed down the right path. There are even better people who notice that you may be headed down the wrong path and are willing to leave their comfort zone and help you back.

It will take a while for me to able to devote my entire life to whatever belief system I choose to follow, but as for right now, I find it difficult to believe that there isn't some kind of higher power that is looking out for all of us, and I no longer feel forgotten.

What I have always believed is that everything happens for a reason. Even though we may not like it or understand it at certain moments in our lives, something is waiting just ahead that's going to be even bigger and better. And maybe that something will end up being that change that we have needed for so long.

Originally posted on Facebook on November 5, 2009
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Unable...Or Unwilling

I completely understand that there are many people who go through terrible things in their lives and that everyone handles it differently. This note is written specifically to make a point about those who may have had bad experiences but are not willing to help themselves. Not all of them fall into this category.

Anyone who lives in the Cary area may have seen this person...there is a man who often parks himself in the median at the corner of Cary Parkway and Chapel Hill Rd (54). He makes a point to show everyone the fact that he is missing one of his legs. I'm guessing that this just pulls at the heartstrings of many people and they roll their window down to give him what they can. I can't help but wonder if those who stop and give him money are actually doing it for him or to make themselves feel better. There is NO reason that anyone should feel guilty, nor should they ever feel obligated to share their money. Remember that certain circumstances led them to where they are but lack of effort keeps them there.

I ask this because I don't think enough people consider the fact that this man is actually able to get himself over to that area, hold his hand out to reach for money, show writing skills by making a sign...HEY! I've got a novel idea. Why don't you use those same skills to reach your hand out, perform a job and actually earn money like many of us do. People may be inclined to use the poor economy as an excuse...this guy has been doing this since before the economy went bad. He has been doing this for years, and why? Because people GIVE him their hard-earned money so that he doesn't have to work for it.

On our vacation this year, we ran into 2 similar situations in Indianapolis. There was a lady sitting on a bench with a tall plastic container that had a few coins in the bottom. I observed that when someone would get close, she would start shaking the container, apparently to let them hear how few coins she had to rattle. She was sitting on a bench directly outside of a TJ Maxx that had a "Help Wanted" sign on the door.

Right after this, a lady approached us and asked if we were familiar with Indianapolis and if we knew where any churches were. I immediately knew what she was doing but I just listened. She changed her voice to a shaky, pitiful sound and explained that she was "J..j...just looking for s...some food." Maybe that particular heart string wasn't installed in me because I immediately feel anger and resentment when this happens. I wanted so badly to say, "You know what, lady? When I get hungry, I go to WORK and use the money that I make to buy food." She was also right outside of this store with "Help Wanted" signs.

Maybe people will think that I am insensitive and cruel, but don't think for a second that I haven't considered the fact that I don't know their story. I don't know what happened to these people to get them to this point. What I do know is that I resent the hell out of the fact that they can find all the energy in the world to walk around the city...to socialize with different people...and to put that hand out and beg for OUR hard-earned money when they could use all of those skills to earn it themselves. And again, they continue to do this because it pays off. By putting coins in their buckets or buying their food, we are reinforcing the fact that they don't have to work for it.

I absolutely REFUSE to help someone who is obviously able but not willing to help themselves. I work too hard to pay my own bills, buy my own food and keep my own head above water to just give it to someone who could care less about how hard I worked for it. Forget the pitiful sob stories, earn your money and restore whatever dignity you can.

Whenever you see one of those hands reaching out for YOUR hard-earned money, how about putting a job application in it instead?

Originally posted on Facebook on September 9, 2009
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Just Say "NO!"

I just stumbled upon an article online that was written by an obviously defiant and rebellious mom that was bragging about her improper ways. She calls herself "Radical Mommy" to make her behavior look even cuter, but I found what she wrote to be just another example of how SOME parents seem to let their children run the household...and then complain about how hectic and crazy it gets.

http://www.stumbleupon.com/s/#23CAeY/www.momlogic.com/2009/10/candy_dropped_in_pee_radical_mommy.php/

Long story short, "Radical Mom" stated that her son was chewing on a Laffy Taffy when it fell out of his mouth and into the toilet (that he was in the process of using). So as not to hear her son cry, that woman reached into the toilet, got the candy and gave it to that child after washing it off. What's even worse? Many people that responded to her post thought that it was ok to do!

This note is not about giving children dirty candy. This is about setting boundaries. I will shout from the mountain tops, "NO, I DO NOT HAVE CHILDREN." But I do have over 14 yrs of experience from working at child care centers, working closely with families, and add to that over 50 credit hours towards a degree in Early Childhood Education.

Here is what I posted in the comment section for this mother to see:

"I find it appalling that anyone would even consider fishing something out of a toilet for any reason, unless it is something of value that can NOT be replaced: Just to clarify, the example I'll use is a diamond ring.

As a teacher with many years of experience in child care, ages ranging from 3 mos to 10 yrs, I have learned so many things. Unfortunately, it has become apparent that many people are simply afraid to tell their children "no." Along with that, many parents fail to follow through with the necessary consequences for their childrens' actions.

Yes, it may have been an accident, but that still doesn't justify what was done. If parents give in every time their children cry, the only lesson learned is, "If I push hard enough, scream loud enough or cry long enough I am going to get what I want." Each time, the bar is raised just a little more. There has to be a point where a parent puts their foot down and says, "Enough is enough."

Let me ask this. When that child is a teenager and decides that he wants to try some sort of drug, is he going to have the self-discipline to say no? What if he cries and says, "But I REALLY want to smoke it/shoot it." Is someone finally going to step in and draw the line? Or is it going to be too late?

Don't be afraid to say no to your children, even if the best you can do is offer an alternative...and some earplugs. Your child will eventually stop crying and they will continue to love you, perhaps even moreso because of the security that comes with parental guidance."

Instead of "DON'T do this" and "DON'T do that," how about taking a minute to explain what TO do. Instead of constantly saying "NO, NO, NO!" How about taking a minute to talk to the child and help them think of an alternative, or redirect them. Teach them to think for themselves, but at the same time, make them understand that rules exist for a reason.

**This does NOT apply to every parent or child. I do understand that working and having children is exactly like having 2 full-time jobs that never end. I get that. The point is that, when rules are not consistently implemented and a child is allowed to run the household, it breeds chaos...and I find it hard to feel sorry for someone who allows it to happen.

Originally posted on Facebook on October 21, 2009
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