Unable...Or Unwilling

I completely understand that there are many people who go through terrible things in their lives and that everyone handles it differently. This note is written specifically to make a point about those who may have had bad experiences but are not willing to help themselves. Not all of them fall into this category.

Anyone who lives in the Cary area may have seen this person...there is a man who often parks himself in the median at the corner of Cary Parkway and Chapel Hill Rd (54). He makes a point to show everyone the fact that he is missing one of his legs. I'm guessing that this just pulls at the heartstrings of many people and they roll their window down to give him what they can. I can't help but wonder if those who stop and give him money are actually doing it for him or to make themselves feel better. There is NO reason that anyone should feel guilty, nor should they ever feel obligated to share their money. Remember that certain circumstances led them to where they are but lack of effort keeps them there.

I ask this because I don't think enough people consider the fact that this man is actually able to get himself over to that area, hold his hand out to reach for money, show writing skills by making a sign...HEY! I've got a novel idea. Why don't you use those same skills to reach your hand out, perform a job and actually earn money like many of us do. People may be inclined to use the poor economy as an excuse...this guy has been doing this since before the economy went bad. He has been doing this for years, and why? Because people GIVE him their hard-earned money so that he doesn't have to work for it.

On our vacation this year, we ran into 2 similar situations in Indianapolis. There was a lady sitting on a bench with a tall plastic container that had a few coins in the bottom. I observed that when someone would get close, she would start shaking the container, apparently to let them hear how few coins she had to rattle. She was sitting on a bench directly outside of a TJ Maxx that had a "Help Wanted" sign on the door.

Right after this, a lady approached us and asked if we were familiar with Indianapolis and if we knew where any churches were. I immediately knew what she was doing but I just listened. She changed her voice to a shaky, pitiful sound and explained that she was "J..j...just looking for s...some food." Maybe that particular heart string wasn't installed in me because I immediately feel anger and resentment when this happens. I wanted so badly to say, "You know what, lady? When I get hungry, I go to WORK and use the money that I make to buy food." She was also right outside of this store with "Help Wanted" signs.

Maybe people will think that I am insensitive and cruel, but don't think for a second that I haven't considered the fact that I don't know their story. I don't know what happened to these people to get them to this point. What I do know is that I resent the hell out of the fact that they can find all the energy in the world to walk around the city...to socialize with different people...and to put that hand out and beg for OUR hard-earned money when they could use all of those skills to earn it themselves. And again, they continue to do this because it pays off. By putting coins in their buckets or buying their food, we are reinforcing the fact that they don't have to work for it.

I absolutely REFUSE to help someone who is obviously able but not willing to help themselves. I work too hard to pay my own bills, buy my own food and keep my own head above water to just give it to someone who could care less about how hard I worked for it. Forget the pitiful sob stories, earn your money and restore whatever dignity you can.

Whenever you see one of those hands reaching out for YOUR hard-earned money, how about putting a job application in it instead?

Originally posted on Facebook on September 9, 2009
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